Imagine making a wrong turn, but being too proud to backtrack, instead just wandering off into oblivion. As crazy as that sounds, it’s something we sometimes do in our social lives. This is especially true for those who fall into what I call “social cults,” where one manipulative personality wreaks havoc on others’ personal relationships and reputations.
Have you been pressured into starting conflict with someone you’d never had conflict with? Have you befriended someone you normally wouldn’t, simply because of a common enemy? Have you done things that damaged your reputation, or made you ashamed, in service of a person or group?
Not long ago, a trans woman named Rachel recruited many in her effort to smear her enemies in the lesbian and trans communities, even trying to get people fired from jobs. Today, Rachel, who now goes by Ray Alex Williams, is a detransition activist on YouTube.
Well, that’s awkward.
How will those once under Rachel’s spell, but since denounced by this person, respond when coming across those they had viscously targeted? To avoid this, some may skip Pride celebrations altogether.
In another situation, a person was so swept up in a similar social cult that they even followed the leader’s enemies into restaurants and tried to get them kicked out. The group later turned on that person, canceled them in St. Louis, and they left town. While most don’t leave town, they do choose to live within the confines of the narrower community they find themselves in, or they drop out of the social scene altogether, as opposed to admitting they had made a mistake.
A simple apology is the first step in undoing a world of damage, and it’s easier than you think. While it may not be immediately accepted, it typically neutralizes bad blood and paves the way for healing. It helps close an ugly chapter, and hopefully keeps that chapter from defining you, or charting your course.
Pride is a big family reunion, and you should drop your pride and go. Take this opportunity to make a U-turn, and when you come across someone you may have wronged, simply say, “I got swept up in bullshit, and I’m sorry.”