Chuck Parrino Jr. Discussed Getting a Protective Order Against Jerald Stilts Two Weeks Before His Murder

On Sunday, I sat with mourners at Bastille to hear their stories about Chuck Parrino Jr., and to discuss the harrowing events of the past few days. Bastille is an “off the record” kind of place, where few want to be quoted or see their name in print, but I was honored that they were willing to talk with me during this devastating time.

When the always-prompt Parrino didn’t show up to Bastille for his Friday evening shift, coworkers and friends feared the worst. Still haunted by the 2018 murder of beloved bartender Peyton Keene, who was gunned down right outside, there was a sense of urgency to make sure they did all they could to avoid losing another one of their own.

Only two weeks earlier, Parrino had told his coworkers he needed to file for a protective order against his ex-boyfriend, Jerald Stilts. Stilts had been sitting in his car outside of Bastille during Parrino’s shifts. He’d called the bar and Parrino’s friends asking about him, and Parrino told coworkers Stilts had been parking outside of his new Bohemian Hill apartment, leading Parrino to install multiple cameras.

Close friend and coworker Jay Thurman recalled Stilts calling Parrino a dozen times in a row. “He was very stalkerish, controlling and insecure,” Thurman said of Stilts. “He’d come to the bar and do things to try to get under Chuck’s skin. After seeing Chuck talk to someone new at the bar, Jerry contacted the man to tell him to back off. One night, Jerry left a few hours earlier, but Chuck suspected he was close by watching. I walked him to his car, and sure enough, Jerry was parked right behind him.”

Stilts was no longer welcome at the bar because of his obsessive behavior. Bartenders would yell at him to get out.

On Friday, the conversation at Bastille kept coming back to Stilts. “I’m calling Jerry,” friend Lisa West said, but a bartender advised her against it. “If Chuck had something else going on, we didn’t want to cause more problems by involving Jerry,” West said. West had known Stilts for many years, and had regularly gone out to eat with him and his late partner, who died of cancer in 2022. Several onetime friends of the 57-year-old Stits, mostly from Illinois, said he was a very different person when he was with his late partner, who he had been with since his twenties. “All these years I knew him he hated the bars, he hated the gay scene,” said a longtime friend who asked not to be named. “I just don’t know what happened to him in these last few months.”

On Saturday morning, a group of regulars went to Bastille to discuss the situation. Thurman, unaware that Chuck was missing, texted him at 12:30 pm asking if he wanted to hang out, and then saw a Facebook post about his disappearance. “That’s not like him. I couldn’t wait, I went to his house and pounded on the door and walked around the building. I went to places he frequented. I called hospitals.”

Everyone at the bar was beside themselves with anxiety. Unable to focus, the manager threw up his hands and said, “I’ve got to go.” The manager left his regulars to look after the bar and he went in search of him. A regular told West, “They need to look in that hangar,” in reference to Stilts’ barn, which housed farm equipment. The patron said Stilts had told him that he loved Parrino so much that he might kill him and bury him in the hangar.

Shortly after 4:00 pm Saturday, the same bartender who had advised West not to call Stilts pulled her into Bastille’s kitchen. “Call him,” he said. When Stilts answered, West simply asked, “Where’s Chuck?.”

“Jerry was crying and he seemed nervous. He said to check the casinos,” West said.

Numerous members of the community were searching online and monitoring the police blotter, and then, at around 6:00 pm Saturday, news that the coroner was at Stits’ property swept through the bar, igniting wails of horror and grief, as patrons and employees wept and cried out.

On Sunday, the bar posted a message to Stilts on their Facebook page, including his mugshot. “On behalf of everyone at Bastille, we hope you rot in hell!”

Friends describe Parrino as a handsome, fun and lovable guy who lived life to the fullest and had a good sense of humor. After coworkers compared him to a Keebler elf, for instance, he dressed as one for Halloween.

Parrino’s Funeral Service will be held Sunday at 10 am at Schrader Funeral Home,
14960 Manchester Rd, Ballwin, MO. 63011.

Bastille will have a celebration for Parrino following his funeral. Parrino’s family, who came in from Texas, will be in attendance, and the bar has set up a gofundme for them.

The Network/La Red’s 24-hour hotline provides confidential emotional support, information, referrals, safety planning, and crisis intervention for gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer and/or transgender folks. 1-800-832-1901

Jury Awards David Pardue $25k in Defamation Claim

Who is to blame for the 2020 closure of Hamburger Mary’s? Richard Reuben, the attorney for defendant Chuck Pfoutz, argued that the primary factors were Covid and the controversy surrounding the firings of legendary entertainers Alexis Principle and Krista Versace, which resulted in protests outside the restaurant.

Pardue argued that Pfoutz’s negative reviews were to blame, and, according to Reuben, sought $325k in damages. The divided jury awarded Pardue $25k, with three jurors refusing to sign off on the award. In a city known for having the highest jury awards in the nation, the relatively paltry sum was notable, but still a win for the aggrieved Pardue.

Reuben plans to appeal, and to file an Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress claim against Pardue, so the 5-year Hamburger Mary’s saga is far from over.

Pfoutz was all smiles as he headed home to Florida this morning, taking it all in stride.

Belligerent Drunk Patrick Manary Threatens to Sic Republican Senators and the FBI on Mike Campise

Patrick Manary and Nate Stickle are banned from most St. Louis LGBTQ establishments

Well, that was random. Local pariah Patrick Manary contacted former St. Louisan and current Palm Springs-area resident Mike Campise last night, triggered by an innocuous comment Campise made on this image I shared to Facebook.

The 1:00 am rant was a real doozy, yet it was classic Manary madness. Manary accused Campise of contacting Manary’s on gain, off again boyfriend, Nate Stickel, and said he’s been in contact with the FBI and Republican Senators about federal crimes he alleges the mild-mannered Campise committed. Manary vowed to find out where the retired Campise works, and impact his ability to earn a living.

Cake artist Mike Campise is beloved for baking cakes for the community free of charge. He relocated to California after the unexpected death of his longtime partner.

Manary, who apparently doesn’t understand how to look up property records in St. Louis, also claimed we don’t own our house, and said he watches everything we post.

It seems the holidays haven’t been happy for Manary and Stickle. The latter spent his Christmas trolling Kage over text.

PAID IN FULL: IN ONE WEEKEND THE COMMUNITY PAID ENTIRE COST OF EMBATTLED CHASITY VALENTINO’S DEFENSE

In a single weekend the St. Louis community, along with friends and fellow entertainers from around the country, came together to ensure Chasity Valentino had the legal representation she needed to defend herself against the big money individual who singled her out in a lawsuit. Dozens of donations as modest as $5 added up quickly, followed by an anonymous $740 contribution Sunday evening.

We want to thank everyone who shared the story and who donated. Without representation Chasity would have been easily railroaded. Because of all of you, Chasity can go to court with dignity, and she has more than a fighting chance of winning.

Chasity Valentino

All donors listed in alphabetical order.

Joshua Alexander
Chris Andoe
Jennifer Armer
Alison Bacon
Ryan Bandy
Jerid Bates
Jordan Braxton
Dan Boyer
Mike Campise
Thomas J Choinski
Candace Counts
Patti Daigle
Emma Delaney
Chris Dexter
Jesse Doggendorf
Abby Dorning
Lance Frutiger
Denise Hart
Webster Heffern
Jeffery Houston
Matt Huber
Josh Jordan
Joan Lipkin
Michael Lonergan
Jessica Lyons
Dawn Noel
Arthur Nunn
Lindsey Phoenix
Lisa Reynolds
Kimberly Rockwell
Gregory Schmelig
Ryan Shannon
Nick Stanton
Chris Taylor
Mac Taylor
Jonathan Tennant

Opal Wiley

CHASITY VALENTINO ENSNARED IN DAVID PARDUE’S DEFAMATION SUIT

Pardue’s lawsuit has elevated Chasity Valentino’s stature in the community.

Dozens peacefully demonstrated outside of Hamburger Mary’s St. Louis in July after the firing of drag legend Krista Versace. The termination ignited a much larger conversation among entertainers, former employees, and even customers about allegedly offensive and inappropriate behavior on the part of co-owner David Pardue. 

Trans activist and entertainer Chasity Valentino emerged as one of the protest leaders, and is now one of two individuals singled out in Pardue’s audacious defamation suit. The other individual is producer Chuck Pfoutz

Euclid Media Group, the parent company of Riverfront Times and Out in STL, is also named. Neither publication covered the story or the protest, but Pardue’s attorney is arguing that Euclid is responsible for reporting on chrisandoe.com since I was the editor of Out in STL at the time. While the argument is unusual, it is a common strategy to pursue a link to a party with resources when seeking monetary damages. While mentioned in the filing, I am not being sued.

Anthony Rothert of the ACLU of Eastern Missouri reviewed the file and said, “It does seem like a bullying piece of litigation, particularly against this person [Chasity].” 

Richard C. Reuben of ReubenLaw LLC has agreed to represent her for a flat fee of $2,500. Chasity is young and survives on a limited income, and must now come up with the money or risk a judgment that could reach upwards of a million dollars. 

On July 5, 2020, Chasity stood up for her community. Please stand up for her in return. If you can only give $5, please give it and then ask your friends to donate as well. Chasity doesn’t have David Pardue’s deep pockets, but she has an entire community that has her back. Each donation, regardless of size, is a statement that we stand with Chasity.

For those able to make sizable donations, I’m offering the largest single donor an exclusive evening where I’ll read excerpts from my upcoming book, House of Villadiva to your small group at your home or virtually. Offer is open to anyone in the United States.

Let’s do this.

DONATE

***UPDATE*** Jordan Elizabeth Braxton is offering a Miss Leon’s chicken dinner for 6 to the first person to donate $300 or more.