Chuck Parrino Jr. Discussed Getting a Protective Order Against Jerald Stilts Two Weeks Before His Murder

On Sunday, I sat with mourners at Bastille to hear their stories about Chuck Parrino Jr., and to discuss the harrowing events of the past few days. Bastille is an “off the record” kind of place, where few want to be quoted or see their name in print, but I was honored that they were willing to talk with me during this devastating time.

When the always-prompt Parrino didn’t show up to Bastille for his Friday evening shift, coworkers and friends feared the worst. Still haunted by the 2018 murder of beloved bartender Peyton Keene, who was gunned down right outside, there was a sense of urgency to make sure they did all they could to avoid losing another one of their own.

Only two weeks earlier, Parrino had told his coworkers he needed to file for a protective order against his ex-boyfriend, Jerald Stilts. Stilts had been sitting in his car outside of Bastille during Parrino’s shifts. He’d called the bar and Parrino’s friends asking about him, and Parrino told coworkers Stilts had been parking outside of his new Bohemian Hill apartment, leading Parrino to install multiple cameras.

Close friend and coworker Jay Thurman recalled Stilts calling Parrino a dozen times in a row. “He was very stalkerish, controlling and insecure,” Thurman said of Stilts. “He’d come to the bar and do things to try to get under Chuck’s skin. After seeing Chuck talk to someone new at the bar, Jerry contacted the man to tell him to back off. One night, Jerry left a few hours earlier, but Chuck suspected he was close by watching. I walked him to his car, and sure enough, Jerry was parked right behind him.”

Stilts was no longer welcome at the bar because of his obsessive behavior. Bartenders would yell at him to get out.

On Friday, the conversation at Bastille kept coming back to Stilts. “I’m calling Jerry,” friend Lisa West said, but a bartender advised her against it. “If Chuck had something else going on, we didn’t want to cause more problems by involving Jerry,” West said. West had known Stilts for many years, and had regularly gone out to eat with him and his late partner, who died of cancer in 2022. Several onetime friends of the 57-year-old Stits, mostly from Illinois, said he was a very different person when he was with his late partner, who he had been with since his twenties. “All these years I knew him he hated the bars, he hated the gay scene,” said a longtime friend who asked not to be named. “I just don’t know what happened to him in these last few months.”

On Saturday morning, a group of regulars went to Bastille to discuss the situation. Thurman, unaware that Chuck was missing, texted him at 12:30 pm asking if he wanted to hang out, and then saw a Facebook post about his disappearance. “That’s not like him. I couldn’t wait, I went to his house and pounded on the door and walked around the building. I went to places he frequented. I called hospitals.”

Everyone at the bar was beside themselves with anxiety. Unable to focus, the manager threw up his hands and said, “I’ve got to go.” The manager left his regulars to look after the bar and he went in search of him. A regular told West, “They need to look in that hangar,” in reference to Stilts’ barn, which housed farm equipment. The patron said Stilts had told him that he loved Parrino so much that he might kill him and bury him in the hangar.

Shortly after 4:00 pm Saturday, the same bartender who had advised West not to call Stilts pulled her into Bastille’s kitchen. “Call him,” he said. When Stilts answered, West simply asked, “Where’s Chuck?.”

“Jerry was crying and he seemed nervous. He said to check the casinos,” West said.

Numerous members of the community were searching online and monitoring the police blotter, and then, at around 6:00 pm Saturday, news that the coroner was at Stits’ property swept through the bar, igniting wails of horror and grief, as patrons and employees wept and cried out.

On Sunday, the bar posted a message to Stilts on their Facebook page, including his mugshot. “On behalf of everyone at Bastille, we hope you rot in hell!”

Friends describe Parrino as a handsome, fun and lovable guy who lived life to the fullest and had a good sense of humor. After coworkers compared him to a Keebler elf, for instance, he dressed as one for Halloween.

Parrino’s Funeral Service will be held Sunday at 10 am at Schrader Funeral Home,
14960 Manchester Rd, Ballwin, MO. 63011.

Bastille will have a celebration for Parrino following his funeral. Parrino’s family, who came in from Texas, will be in attendance, and the bar has set up a gofundme for them.

The Network/La Red’s 24-hour hotline provides confidential emotional support, information, referrals, safety planning, and crisis intervention for gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer and/or transgender folks. 1-800-832-1901

Belligerent Drunk Patrick Manary Sets His Sights on Trans Woman India Ferguson

Local drunk Patrick Manary, best known for his horrific racist meltdown at Grey Fox, has been spiraling. He threatened to make sure Palm Springs resident Mike Campise never works again, seemingly unaware that Campise has no need for employment, and now, for some reason that only makes sense within the confines of his pickled brain, he’s randomly targeted Black trans woman India Ferguson.

It seems that every week Manary finds a new, wildly random target for his rage and his threats. All we can do is watch the shit show.

For India’s part, she’s vowed to live her best life and keep smiling.

Jury Awards David Pardue $25k in Defamation Claim

Who is to blame for the 2020 closure of Hamburger Mary’s? Richard Reuben, the attorney for defendant Chuck Pfoutz, argued that the primary factors were Covid and the controversy surrounding the firings of legendary entertainers Alexis Principle and Krista Versace, which resulted in protests outside the restaurant.

Pardue argued that Pfoutz’s negative reviews were to blame, and, according to Reuben, sought $325k in damages. The divided jury awarded Pardue $25k, with three jurors refusing to sign off on the award. In a city known for having the highest jury awards in the nation, the relatively paltry sum was notable, but still a win for the aggrieved Pardue.

Reuben plans to appeal, and to file an Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress claim against Pardue, so the 5-year Hamburger Mary’s saga is far from over.

Pfoutz was all smiles as he headed home to Florida this morning, taking it all in stride.

Belligerent Drunk Patrick Manary Threatens to Sic Republican Senators and the FBI on Mike Campise

Patrick Manary and Nate Stickle are banned from most St. Louis LGBTQ establishments

Well, that was random. Local pariah Patrick Manary contacted former St. Louisan and current Palm Springs-area resident Mike Campise last night, triggered by an innocuous comment Campise made on this image I shared to Facebook.

The 1:00 am rant was a real doozy, yet it was classic Manary madness. Manary accused Campise of contacting Manary’s on gain, off again boyfriend, Nate Stickel, and said he’s been in contact with the FBI and Republican Senators about federal crimes he alleges the mild-mannered Campise committed. Manary vowed to find out where the retired Campise works, and impact his ability to earn a living.

Cake artist Mike Campise is beloved for baking cakes for the community free of charge. He relocated to California after the unexpected death of his longtime partner.

Manary, who apparently doesn’t understand how to look up property records in St. Louis, also claimed we don’t own our house, and said he watches everything we post.

It seems the holidays haven’t been happy for Manary and Stickle. The latter spent his Christmas trolling Kage over text.

Judge Craig Higgins is on the Ballot. I Believe He’s Anti-Gay.

When considering the judges on the sample ballot, I remembered that Broniec and Gooch tried to block the abortion question from appearing on the ballot, so many are planning to vote against retaining them. Then I saw a name that caused my stomach to sink. Judge Craig Kennedy Higgins. I weighed the pros and cons of tearing off this scab and sharing my story, and I still don’t know what the pros are, but I feel I have to speak out.

On the evening of October 12, 2022, two gay white men caused a racial incident at Grey Fox Pub, and then spent a year harassing the entire 3700 block of Potomac, which is bookended by Grey Fox on one end, the home I share with my husband, Kage, on the other. The pair, who are banned from nearly all of the city’s gay establishments, repeatedly wailed on the horn late at night and then drunkenly berated anyone who came outside to confront them. 

While they had confrontations with numerous neighbors, Kage and I were their primary targets. Animal Control was called multiple times. On news articles about Black crime suspects, they would post that Kage matched the suspect’s description. They’d call 911 saying a woman was being assaulted by a Black man, leading to tense interactions with first responders, who didn’t automatically believe us when we said this was swatting and that no woman lived here. They placed a sex ad instructing numerous men to come into the house in search of a woman who wanted a rape fantasy scenario. This resulted in two men actually entering our home, and others attempting to. When one intruder reached into his pocket upon encountering me, I fully expected to be shot.

Judge Craig Kennedy Higgins was appointed by Republican Governor Parson

On March 14, 2023 we were granted an Ex Parte Order of Protection, which the pair violated by tearing up our garden, covering my car with the destroyed plants, and yelling at the house

About a month later we sought to extend the order. Judge Craig Kennedy Higgins looked at us and, before hearing any evidence, lectured us about how people with real issues couldn’t be heard that day because he had to deal with “this circus.” 

I knew then that this was not only going to be pointless, but brutal. I wanted to get up and leave, but that didn’t feel like an option. 

We had hired an attorney, and were armed with a mountain of evidence including video and a recorded confession. Higgins showed absolutely no interest in our testimony, or in reviewing the evidence. He didn’t seem to care that the emergency order was violated. He had to repeatedly scold the respondents for their rowdy behavior, and he called them “children,” but allowed them to cross examine us about our sex life. 

In the end, he said our lives weren’t in danger, and we can’t use the courts to cancel people we don’t like. Emboldened, the pair soon came to my workplace where they mugged the 60-something female receptionist while calling her a whore. 

Higgens’ inaction led to a neighborhood being repeatedly woken and harassed, and a woman being mugged. With the stroke of his pen, he could have served the citizenry of St. Louis. He preferred not. If it wasn’t anti-gay bias, I can’t imagine the reason.

I’m under no illusions that our story will derail Judge Higgins’ career, but I hope that calling attention to his flagrant disregard will somehow lead to LGBTQ+ St. Louisans being treated more justly than we were.