Midnight Annie’s Final Performance

“Midnight Annie’s Final Performance” was included in Belt Publishing’s The St. Louis Anthology

Photo of Midnight Annie, courtesy of Gary Reed

I woke up on Wednesday September 24, 2014, grabbed my phone from the nightstand and checked social media like I always did. The first post I saw was from a friend announcing that the bar where I spent my Friday nights, Clementine’s, was closing after the coming weekend. I was floored, and hoped it was just a rumor. The historic corner bar and restaurant, famous for their strong drinks and colorful characters, was one of my favorite things about St. Louis. It was the LGBT community’s embassy in Soulard, and for me symbolized permanence. 

Entombed in the wall of the establishment were the remains of Midnight Annie, a drag queen who long frequented and performed at the bar. While laughing and drinking there with my friend Big David, I sometimes pondered having my own remains interred beside her, forever being part of the action. She passed in April 1995 at the age of 73, two years before I first moved to St. Louis, but I felt like I knew her after hearing so many tales of her antics. Her shows sounded like pure madness. She’d often sit down on stage, wearing her salt and pepper bouffant wig and sequin gown, and begin kicking up her heels and howling at the moon. 

All morning I tried to get confirmation as I began working on the article. Bars were always rumored to be closing, and there’d been embarrassing retractions in the past. One bar, Novak’s, even had an emotional closing gala, only to open up for business as usual the following day. The LGBT magazine I wrote for, Vital Voice, had to balance the desire to break the story with the need to get it right, and our publisher decided we weren’t running the piece until we had a quote from one of the owners.

Rather than covering it as breaking news, I crafted the announcement like a eulogy, recalling the storied past of the place, how it was a cornerstone of the community, was the oldest surviving LGBT bar in St. Louis, and how there was no more prestigious spot to be during Mardi Gras than on the grand balcony above the entrance. In 2012, I was so determined to grace that balcony that I loitered around the guarded entrance to the upper floor, and the second the bouncer’s back was turned, bolted up the stairs. I strolled in like I was supposed to be there, tossing beads into the crowd below for ten or fifteen minutes until I sensed suspicion from the krewe, and nonchalantly made my exit. 

The article was essentially written when I arrived at Clem’s and spoke to the bartender, who’d just learned the news himself in a letter from owner Gary Reed. It was then I got word that #Boom, Vital Voice’s bitter rival, just broke the story with a brief announcement and a quote from the same bartender. We ran our piece twenty minutes later. I then began working on gathering and documenting every story I could from the patrons during the remaining days. I knew my Friday night group, but there were so many people I didn’t know. People who were there during the day, or on different nights. I needed to meet and talk to as many of them I could in a desperate attempt to immortalize this place before it was too late. With a pen in one hand and a cocktail in the other, I lived, breathed and drank the moment. During those final days, I was embedded at Clem’s. 

“It’s like Cheers, when I’m down and out there’s always someone here to lift me up. That’s the one thing that scares me to death: Where am I going to meet my friends? Where will us fading flowers go?” said Josie, 52.

That first night the news was so fresh and most everyone was in disbelief, while some were angry. A festive, slender man of about sixty, named Johnnie, was excited about my interviews, and told me who I should speak with.

“See the guy with the hot pink goblet? That’s Miss Davey. He’s been coming here every single day for years and they keep that goblet just for him. One day I asked Jan, ‘How do I get my own goblet?’ and she said, ‘Well, you’ve gotta come here every day!’ You need to talk to him!” Johnny said, but returned a moment later, “He’s too upset and is afraid of what he might say. Give him a little time.”

I spoke to a big, gruff, bearded man named Dennis who, in his booming voice, told me Clems was his first gay bar, then a frail, petite man walked through the door and Dennis shouted, “HEY HOWARD!” and pulled him in. “This is Howard, he was here for the grand opening!”

I greeted Howard, who told me he was 79 and lived on the east side. “I always stopped here to get my bridge drink,” he said. I suggested he grab a cocktail and then come back to talk.

“You’re giving him too much time, he might die in the next five minutes! He’s about a hundred and forty!” Dennis joked.

Later, at the tables on the old brick sidewalk out front, Dennis and his buddies agreed to tell me more stories if I’d smoke a joint with them. A group of six men shared tales about Clem’s, reminisced about other bars that came and went over the years, and recalled the tales of Midnight Annie. Legend had it she got the name back in the 1940s when she’d bribe a jailer to let her “entertain” inmates in the middle of the night. 

“Oh I remember Midnight Annie,” one man began. “She was a trust fund baby and when she’d get an installment she’d blow it in no time. Once she sauntered into a Cadillac dealership and bought two Cadillacs. One for her and one for her trick! That’s just how she was. God, I still remember her sitting at that bar drunk as Hell with her lipstick going up her wrinkled face and her wig on crooked. She had this trademark high-pitched sound she’d make, and when she’d do it everyone around the bar would mimic it. Like a bird call.”

Many of the stories about St. Louis’ gay world came out of East. St. Louis, because gay bars were less likely to be raided there. Some of the bars sounded a lot like speakeasies.

“Those early days were revolutionary,” began a silver-haired gentleman named Beaux. “There were bars that were straight by day and gay by night, and Helen Schrader’s started out that way. Helen had been a notorious madam with 50 women working for her during her heyday. When one of her first girls, Alice, got old she worked the front door at the bar. You’d knock and Miss Alice would slide a little slot open and look at you. If she knew you, she’d let you in. If she didn’t, she’d tell you to go away.”

The interior of Clem’s. Photo courtesy of the St. Louis LGBT History Project

Stories also came in online. My friend Dan posted a memory on Facebook, and it really struck me because it was about a passing generation.

“One really busy night many years ago I had sex right there on the counter of the bar, maybe 400 in the bar at the time. Surprised? It brought back memories of the first owner, Wally Thomas. He sold it in ’85 but it stayed a gay bar. People don’t want to let go, but the past HAS to go. The past, the bars, the buildings, the people all have had their time and now need to go. And they will – no matter what is said. That place leaves far greater a legacy than I ever will. As one person said: The old heart of Gay St. Louis will cease to beat. I see the passages. The old gay ghettos, the book stores, the peep shows, the gay bars, their time has passed. My tribe, my people, my places, become part of yesterday’s mist. Museum pieces that fade and collect dust. And so does yours truly.”

While Monday would be the last day, Sunday afternoon was when the community at large came to say their goodbyes. It looked like Mardi Gras as the crowd spilled out of the bar into the street, where a BMW blasted music for the hundreds of people outside.

The last Sunday at Clem’s. Photo courtesy of the St. Louis LGBT History Project

I had only been back in town for a few months, having moved to San Francisco to try to salvage a long beleaguered relationship, and then to New York to get over it. My heart, however, was always in St. Louis, and I was so thankful to be on the ground during these final days of Clementine’s. It would have killed me to miss them. 

Steve Potter, a local NPR personality, was so moved and inspired by the stories Clem’s fading flowers shared with Vital Voice that he came out on the air, discussing his first visit to the bar decades earlier.

As the world opened up, gay bars nationwide were going the way of the dinosaur, especially those serving an older clientele. But this haunted town had such a memory, and rather than disappear, Clem’s would simply take its place in the local folklore.

I almost didn’t go to closing night, and Big David didn’t plan on going either. It was a Monday, I’d spent every waking hour there since Wednesday, and I thought it would be too sad. Around eight, however, I decided I would always regret not going. Since I was going, Big David came out as well. I walked in, and on the glowing dry erase marquee near the pool table I wrote, “Going down with the ship.”

The bar was crowded but not overly so, and the characters there were the ones who really loved the place. The spirits were higher than expected and the camaraderie was simply incredible as old friends hugged, laughed, and made toasts. Miss Davey, the daily regular who had his own hot pink goblet and had been too upset to be interviewed, came up and gave me a hug.

“I’m really sad, but I’m going to be ok,” he said, smiling.

When owner Gary and his late partner Jim bought the bar in 1985, they held their first drag show. Midnight Annie was the headliner. Unbeknownst to her, they promoted the evening as “Midnight Annie’s Final Performance” to make it more of a draw.

“Would you quit telling people this is my final performance?” an exasperated Midnight Annie kept admonishing.

I was less than a foot from Gary when, in the final hours, he took the mic, and the quiet, introverted man who’d hardly said anything over the years gave a rousing farewell speech. The whole place stopped to listen. He spoke about how much times had changed since the bar opened in 1978, and changed for the better. He spoke of the historic old brick building which was erected in the 1860s. He said all drinks were on the house until the last bottle was dry, and then he then brought up Midnight Annie.

“I always say my only child was a seventy-three year old drag queen,” he began, “and she’s leaving with me. Ladies and Gentleman, next to Jan is Midnight Annie!” 

I’ll be God damned if he didn’t have Midnight Annie’s dusty urn—complete with the yellowed and water stained label—sitting there on the bar with a cocktail.

The crowd erupted with cheers and applause.

On that final evening there were people in attendance who’d come to see Midnight Annie’s final performance back in 1985. After a thirty year wait, she and Gary Reed finally delivered with a closing number the city will never forget.

Meandering Thoughts on my Last 10 Years

Finishing Delusions of Grandeur was my top creative achievement.

Ten years ago I was still picking up the pieces and trying to find my footing after the 2008 financial crisis–an event that not only cost me my fortune, but the respect of someone who was closest to me. To make up for what I saw as my own personal screw up, I did things I didn’t want to do, like moving away from the city where I felt most at home. 

The pain, frustration and torture from that time is what pushed me from being someone who told stories at parties to being a writer. This means if given the change to undo that failure, I wouldn’t be who I am now. And I like who I am. It also means I wouldn’t have befriended all the wonderful friends I’ve made as I flailed from coast to coast, especially my friends in San Francisco. And I wouldn’t have met the love of my life. 

After years of not having an ideal place to entertain friends, we are always hosting events.

One thing you might not know about me is I’m scrappy AF. I can make things happen, and I can make something out of nothing. And I’m proud of that. It’s a useful skill that might have atrophied had I not lost everything and not had to climb back while bouncing from place to place.

A woman is born with all the eggs she’ll ever have, and since I was a late surprise, I was born from an old egg. I’ve always felt I should be about twenty years older than I am, and have bonded with those in that age group. When I was in the seventh grade my favorite show was Thirty Something, and when my friends came over I’d carefully plan the lighting scheme, dimming the chandelier and serving them sodas on a big silver tray. Entertaining in the home is one of my favorite things, and as a consequence of moving around, the divorce, etc. I haven’t been able to properly do that  (which has been incredibly frustrating) until the end of last year, when we acquired Villadiva. It’s big, old, haunted, and needs work, and we absolutely love it. 

Jett passed by the Villadiva Wall of Fame

Today, I’m preparing Villadiva for Mac Taylor’s going away party. Never do I feel myself as much as when I’m preparing to entertain. The Little Liberace from my childhood is very much still here. 

As I look at the past decade, I can say that I have very few regrets and much that I’m proud of and am thankful for. I’ve never been as true to myself as I am now. In retrospect it really seems a catastrophic failure was just what I needed.

Life at 44 (45 in a few weeks) is more fun than I ever imagined.  

The Teapot & the Colander


We are like pieces of a tea set. Sometimes we’re the teacup, and sometimes we’re the pot. But there are imposters among us: colanders posing as teacups. 

When we fill the cups with our goodwill, they are warm and grateful. The colander, by contrast, is insatiable. It takes a teapot time to figure out what’s going on. Soon, there’s an army of teapots pouring all they have into the colander, to no avail. Filling it becomes an all-consuming obsession, and the teapots feel a sense of pride and camaraderie in their team effort. 

Once a teapot runs dry, it’s a threat to the colander because it signals to the full pots that their efforts may be futile. At minimum the imposter wails about being betrayed and abandoned by the teapot, but oftentimes it seeks to destroy the empty pots, sweeping their shattered pieces out of sight.

The moral of the story is to look for the holes. 

OKC Community Debates Whether Video of ‘Habana Hothead’ is a Sign of Trouble for the Famed LGBTQ Hotel

View of one of the Habana’s pools.

As LGBTQ establishments nationwide vanish at a rapid clip, there was a sigh of relief this past January when Oklahoma City’s infamous Habana Inn was purchased by someone with plans to renovate, rather than tear it down. It was re-branded as Hotel Habana.

Since then, however, there have been troubling signs. As of this writing, all three commercial anchors — the discotheque, the country bar, and the restaurant, are gone. The bars, which have been in the building for over thirty years, have relocated elsewhere in the 39th & Penn gayborhood after lease negotiations fell apart.

The hotel owner will reportedly open up his own revamped businesses in the spaces, but appears to have hard feelings towards the tenants who left. Brandon Pickett, an employee of the country bar Finishline — which still controls the space in the Habana for another week, shared security video of a man he identified as hotel owner Tom Lagatta ripping down the bar’s signs in an apparent fit of rage. ‘Maestro of Memes’ Josh Jordan added music to the footage. Click here to watch.

On his Facebook post of the video, Pickett writes:

Seriously taken aback by the actions of the owner of the Hotel Habana. Tom Laggata destroyed property belonging to Copa/Finishline. Is this how a business owner expects to get respect? This is some really childish mess. Sir you are 70+ years old and should have better sense than this. GUESS YOU FORGOT YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA.

Debate rages in the local community about what this all means for the Habana’s prospects. From my perspective, not keeping the long-running businesses in place was a monumental misstep, but I hope that it somehow works out.

I’ll leave you with a passage I wrote about my impressions of the Habana in the 1990s.

There were no dead ends at the Habana, only twists and turns where more excitement might await. Like a brick and mortar Facebook and sex app rolled into one, it’s where the action was. The loitering chickens, the cruisy trolls, the people and cars circling “the shame,” the tailgaters, the queens going back and forth between the packed dance clubs, the guys looking out their windows with doors ajar, the house phone in the lobby where you could dial any room, the eccentric characters like “Sammy Safari,” an animal trainer who brought a leashed tiger to the disco, the fine diners under the gaudy brass chandelier overlooking the shenanigans at the pool through floor to ceiling windows…

Even without the clubs in the building, you can still park once and walk to a restaurant and half a dozen fun bars. If you haven’t experienced the Habana and the surrounding gayborhood, it’s time to flail on down. We can’t count on our spaces being around forever.

After a Bruising Controversy, Metro Trans Umbrella Group Withdraws From St. Louis Pride Parade.

Metro Trans Umbrella Group (MTUG) has pulled out of Sunday’s Pride Parade with a surprise announcement by MTUG Executive Director Sayer Johnson on St. Louis Public Radio.

“So much of the conversation has been taken over by this parade when so many in our community aren’t even getting their basic needs met” Johnson said. “Pride for us is a mark of survival, not celebration.”

Many board members have been personally targeted, and have lost friends over the controversy.


The Board of Pride STL sought to honor and highlight the Trans community’s contributions for Stonewall 50, but faced intense backlash and even threats over a request that officers marching not be uniformed this year. Proposed compromises included officers wearing shirts that read “LGBTQIA+ Officer” or MTUG shirts, but were resoundingly rejected by representatives for police marchers. In the end, a press conference was held in the office of Mayor Lyda Krewson reversing the decision.


The group was to participate as grand marshal.  

A STLPD tactical vehicle at the 2017 St. Louis Pride Parade. The Trans community requested police marchers have a toned-down presence for Stonewall 50. Photo by Scott Lokitz, courtesy of Pride STL.