Chris Andoe

My issue with cancel culture in St. Louis is that it’s too often co-opted by someone trying to settle a score. Of course that’s what’s brought the long-simmering tensions at Hamburger Mary’s St. Louis to a head. 

Gay Republican Matt Schiermeier got angry at Just John’s Kareem Lahai-Pumagoi over a Facebook debate and called owner John O. Arnold to try to get him fired. When that didn’t work he vowed to have his followers destroy Just John online, but instead aimed his fire at Krista Versace, who had been defending Kareem. Schiermeier was successful in costing Versace her job at Hamburger Mary’s. 

I’ve been hesitant about bringing up my own issues with Hamburger Mary’s owner David Pardue because they’re not nearly as interesting as many of the other testimonials, and I didn’t want to appear I was trying to settle my own score. I decided, however, that all of our perspectives are needed at this time. 

I was invited to bring an entourage to their soft opening, and a dear friend of mine by the name of Terrence Stokes was one of my guests. Terrence is Black and I felt he was disrespected on that basis. Everyone was served but him, and he approached Pardue to inquire about his order. Attempting to talk over the loud music, Stokes explained that everyone else had been served half an hour earlier. Pardue shrugged and said everything was free since it was a trial run, and gave no indication he would check on the order. He then asked Stokes, “Why are you shouting? Who brought you?” 

I can attest that Terrence was simply talking over the music. He was in no way shouting. 

Then and there I determined Pardue was not cut out for the hospitality business, and I’ve never been dissuaded of that belief. Still, I did what I could to support the business because it’s such a spectacular venue and is, to my knowledge, the only place in town where a drag queen can earn a full-time living practicing her craft. And despite the owner’s apparent flaws, it was still a “family” owned business. 

That support included running their press releases, patronizing the establishment, and planning a big magazine event there. 

Normally venues roll out the red carpet when you’re planning to bring people to their space, but Pardue made it clear he didn’t care. On at least two occasions when I went to see him in advance of the event he left me and an associate sitting there and never came out. The event was cancelled due to COVID, and the truth is I was relieved. I didn’t know how I was supposed to host in an environment where I myself didn’t even feel welcome. 

Pardue called my friend Janessa Highland “garbage” and even though she’s Miss Gay Missouri America 2018, and Miss Gay Missouri America paid to rent Hamburger Mary’s for their pageant, he banned her from participating because of his personal dislike of her. To Jade Sincair’s credit she objected to the unfairness, although the decision was not overturned. 

Stories worse than mine continue to cascade out and show no signs of slowing. Stepping back I see that I should have written off Hamburger Mary’s much sooner. I wanted to see them succeed and I tried to ignore the elephant in the room. That was wrong.

In summary, I believe David Pardue created a spectacular venue for St. Louis but is profoundly ill-suited to run the day-to-day operations. I think he, the business and the community would be better served if he either sold Hamburger Mary’s St. Louis, or hired a community-oriented and hospitality-minded professional to operate it and then stayed away.

I’ve joked privately to friends that Krista Versace is our own Elektra–the villainess diva on Pose. She’s a bitch and always has been, but she’s fierce and she’s ours. 

Yesterday Versace was fired from Hamburger Mary’s after a handsome gay Republican with a large social media following accused her of bullying him and dicslosing his HIV status and past drug use. The post where the exchange took place, which was on Just John bartender Kareem Lahai-Pumagoi’s wall, has been removed. I haven’t seen images of the comment and it seems images haven’t been produced. 

“I never said he had HIV. I said he was a drug addicted porn star prostitute and has had his virus for over two decades, something he’s publicly talked about” Versace said in reference to the man’s interview with POZ Magazine. 

“I hate to see it” begins longtime follower Mac Taylor upon hearing of Versace’s termination. “Krista is a bitch but a bitch you enjoy. Like an Alexis Carrington. I remember she had on this baby blue jumper once, sipping on a glass of white wine at the back bar at the Complex. I stopped and told her, mid sip, that the blue was a really good color for her and without missing a beat as I walked on toward the bathroom she yelled back at me ‘ANY COLOR!’”

According to bartender Kareem Lahai-Pumagoi, the same gay Republican behind the campaign against Versace has been viciously targeting him over his support of Black Lives Matter for some time. On a since-deleted post where Lahai-Pumagoi shared numerous screenshots, he writes: “This dude is trash. So obsessed with clout chasing. His narcissism knows no bounds and I love how he’s attempting to intimidate me by blowing up my IG and Facebook page. It’s harassment and you have zero power over my life.” 

I’m withholding the name of the gay Republican and his known Trump supporting associates at this time as I wait to see a fuller picture of what occurred in the coming days. I don’t condone mocking someone’s status, period. As far as being bullied, though, it’s hard to see someone as a victim when they love trolling “libtards” and using their sizable following to harass people of color. 

Knowing that Kareem Lahai-Pumagoi seems to be next on the gay Republican hit list, it’s important for the community to be vigilant. In St. Louis especially we’ve seen cancel culture co-opted by narcissists time and again to advance their own self-interests.

***UPDATE WITH STATEMENT FROM JUST JOHN OWNER JOHN O ARNOLD***

Let me add my 2 cents without going into a lot of details. The other day this same gay republican (GP) called my bar and demanded to speak to one of the owners because he was upset with what Kareem had posted on his own FB page. FYI, it had absolutely nothing to do with my bar. I told the GP that this was in between him and Kareem and that they needed to work it out. He did not like my answer and threatened me by saying he had thousands of followers and that he was going to blast my bar is a negative way on his page. I told him to be my guest and then he immediately hung up on me. He called me back within 3 minutes apologizing. Kareem and the GP did end up talking and the post was removed. Kareem and I both thought he was in a good place but evidently not. This GP was determined to get “someone” fired. What a POS! In my opinion, Krista should NOT be fired. They need to hire her back. I have nothing but respect for Krista. This GP talks publicly about everything she mentioned.This pandemic has brought out the worst in people. Our bar is only allowing 25% of our capacity but we are at 150% worth of drama since opening. People are going out of their minds. It is like they have all been cooped up for months and now they just need to start some kind of DRAMA

****UPDATE WITH NEW STATEMENTS FROM KAREEM LAHAI-PUMAGOI****

“WHAT AN EGOTISTICAL PRICK! SUCH AN ASSHOLE! SO HURTFUL AND DISGUSTING!” Kareem exclaimed upon hearing of Verace’s termination.

Kareem called me to defend Versace. “Krista did not disclose his status. He disclosed it himself on that very thread! He then deleted the comments.”

Kareem said the gay Republican, since outed as Matt Shiermeier, had been harassing him for three weeks, triggered by Kareem telling Shiermeier “You don’t have the clout you think you do.”

Since then, Kareem says, Shiermeier has been bombarding him with messages about how popular he is. He also has his followers post laughing emoji on Kareem’s photos, and on the photos of those who engage with Kareem’s posts.

After John O. Arnold was unpersuaded to terminate Kareem, Kareem reached out directly to Shiermeier. “What is the deal that you do nothing but think about this all day at 42 years old. Don’t you have friends?”

Kareem said Shiermeier said no and began crying. He thought they had some sort of breakthrough, and is furious that Shiermeier cost Versace her position.

****UPDATE*****HAMBURGER MARY’S RESPONDS WITH FACEBOOK POST

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I woke to screen shots of three or four people ripping me to shreds last night (after a bit of pot stirring), and when that happens I’m always intrigued by what they focus on. In this case, one argument was that I couldn’t make it in New York. 

Not only is that true, there’s an entire chapter in my book about it. 

I was living in Oakland with my husband of a dozen years when he fell in love with someone else. Moving to New York was something I had intended to do since I was fifteen, and I considered it to be the unfinished business of my life.  The silver lining in the separation was that I had nothing left to lose (I even quoted Janis Joplin in the closing of my way too personal notice to my Berkeley employer–a letter they used against me when I tried to file for unemployment to fund a few extra months in New York). The decision to make that leap also allowed me to deliver one of the best lines of my entire life, when my flippant husband came home and I announced out of the blue, “At this point in your life you need to be single, and I need to be in New York.” 

The euphoria of being liberated, which lasted through a weeklong cross country trip visiting friends from Oklahoma City to Detroit, was followed by a crash once I arrived and reality set in, and New York was not the kind of place you go to lick your wounds and regroup. With several real estate recruiters telling me, “Nobody in this town will hire you without Manhattan experience,” writing jobs offering $25k, my savings dwindling, and the only regional job prospects being in places like Philadelphia and Hartford, I had another epiphany. This was an opportunity to downshift, return to St. Louis, and finish my long delayed book, Delusions of Grandeur. 

So yes, it’s true I did not succeed in New York, there’s just not much power in that insult when it’s something I’ve written about years earlier. My failures are something I own, and they are an asset to my craft. 

The only thing in the screen shots that annoyed me is the claim that I “crawled back to St. Louis,” as if this isn’t where I wanted to be. 

I lived in San Francisco for a total of eight years (over two periods of time, and with the last year in Oakland) and during that time I not only wrote about how St. Louis was my muse, I convinced friends from around the nation to converge in St. Louis for events based on my stories about this place. On a civic pride level, I don’t like people describing this as a last-resort town. 

I’m not from here, and there are certainly easier places to live. 

My perspective as an optimist is there’s value in seeing what they’re saying, as long as you don’t let it get to you. Maybe someone will say something you can learn from, or maybe you’ll read it and think “Is that it?” 

I also know that by this little group focusing on me, they gave another target the night off, and that person probably needed it.